Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Vampires do it best in BLOOD SUCKING FIENDS by Christopher Moore

Hey there Junkies, I'm bending my own rules a bit.  Although Blood-Sucking Fiends: A Love Story is not YA, anything with vampires attracts the attention of teenagers, so therefore it totally counts.

Christopher Moore is a genius.  I don't know why no one gives him credit for starting the whole paranormal romance craze.  Blood-Sucking Fiends was published in 1995! (A man WAY ahead of his time!) I still think it has the best vampire sex of any fanged book out there. 

OK, so Jody is a ho-hum gal until she wakes up beneath a dumpster with her exposed hand burnt to a crisp.  But that's ok, because after she gobbles a critter, it heals itself.  Eventually Jody figures it out.  Oh crap, she's been turned into a vampire.  Which sucks because that means she'll NEVER lose those 5 vanity pounds.

But Jody is a smart chick and she knows the first thing any good vampire needs is a human sex slave.  Or at least someone to find her an apartment and pick up her dry cleaning.  This is where Thomas Flood comes in.

Tommy is a mid-western corn-fed young man who came to San Francisco to pursue his dream of writing the great American novel.  So naturally, he spends his time turkey-bowling as an after-hours stocker at Safeway.  Jody meets Tommy and ya know, vampy shinanigans ensue.

You Suck: A Love Story is the awesome sequel and I can't wait for Bite Me: A Love Story to come out 3/23/10.

These books are so refreshing because they don't take themselves too seriously.  One of my favorite parts in Blood Sucking Fiends is when Tommy and Jody test out all the old vampire myths.  Jody does have a reflection in a mirror, who knew?

Moore creates a hilarious world with memorable characters.  The city of San Francisco almost serves as a character itself, and anyone who has spent a decent amount of time in the city will appreciate these books so much more for the setting's idiosyncracies.

Of course, my favorite character is Abby Normal.  She started as a minor character in Blood Sucking Fiends, narrates some of You Suck and I believe she is the central character in Bite Me.  Abby is a gothic teenager who wears Converse tennis shoes, reads Anne Rice, and fantasizes about meeting a vampire.  But you see, Junkies, Abby's real name is none other than, Alison Greene.  Her parents named her after the Elvis Costello song.  I wear Converses (my maiden name IS Converse), I read Anne Rice and fantasize about meeting a vampire (well, I did when I was a teenager).  My name is Alyson Greene and my parents named me after the Elvis Costello song.  I AM Abby Normal!

So, I told Christopher Moore this when I met him at a signing and he just looked at me, looked back at my name written on a post-it, and said "It's spelled wrong."  Sigh.  Well, at least he signed my book "To the real Abby Normal."

OK Junkies, so we're counting down the days until Bite Me comes out.  Remember, if you're going to read a vampire book, let it be one that makes you laugh.


  1. Very nice post, but I swear I don't remember Abby's real name being Alison Greene, and Christopher Moore's inscription notwithstanding, you are not the real Abby Normal.(for that you have to go to Marty Feldman's description of the "Ab normal" brain he steals from the laboratory in Young Frankenstein. "It belonged to someone called Abby Normal".)

  2. ZOMG! The Real ABBY NORMAL! Sweet!!!!

    Awesome post!

    FYI, I am hosting a "Give Me Moore" reading challenge on my blog! Check it out!

  3. Just had to pop in say I love Christopher Moore. One of my favorite books is Practical Demon Keeping and the funniest interaction with my local librarian when I had to pay a late fee for that book. LOL. "Fiction" I had to keep whispering to her as I paid my fee.

  4. Ooh, I think Practical Demon Keeping is the only Christopher Moore book I HAVEN'T read. I'd better get on that.

    I just started Bite Me and I'm already laughing.